Friday, July 24, 2009
im lost
i dont know what to do. im so confused. ive had this weird celebrity obsession with johnny depp and tom felton. but it made me aware that im not sure what the meaning of life is. i dont know why im here or what im supposed to do. im not happy with my life and where its going. im not happy in general and i dont know what i can or cannot do about it. im a regular chinese girl in highschool. im probably going to go to a fairly good college, graduate and find a job. ill another middle class semi-successful person. probably with a couple kids and a husband. but i dont want this. this is just what the world has planned for me. my life seems so meaningless. and i dont know what i can do to change that fact. i still have that weird obsession with fame and im intrigued and attracted to the idea. i guess its something that my foolish mind wants to be. famous? thats stupid. i feel like an idiotic 12 year old. but i guess im not entirely attracted to fame because it is fame. i guess im attracted to it because then i would KNOW that i meant something. i would know that i mattered. all i want to do with my life is matter. but ever since i realized that its pretty much meaningless, i just dont know what to do. i cant even explain it. im so hopelessly fucking lost.
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2 comments:
Hey... I love to read your blog. It's kinda fun. I enjoy reading it. I knew your blog last week. So, I read all your post. It's kinda awesome. I hope I can know you.
I know exactly how you feel. i have this wierd obession with robert pattinson. but i dont like him cuz he played edward in twilight. hes just rob and thats why i like him anyway. you said you feel that your life is meaningless for some reason related to fame. everyone has this feeling. just remember that you make what your life is. things may go wrong and lots of things will fall apart but you just need to pick it up and say one day im going to be exactly where i want to be and be who i want to be. tom felton is pretty awesome. you dont sound like a 12 year old girl. im 17 and i am not over the fame and limelight craving. the meaning of life is to be who ever and whatever you want to be. its something to do with our mind ive been told. the media portrays them in a postive well respected way but if you look deeper they are just like us. you will matter. i hoped this helped and if you need to talk just comment my blog and ill be there.
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