finally

i just found out that the new and last novel of the eragon series is FINALLY coming out. november 8, and it's called "inheritence." im super excited, even though i totally forgot what happened in the first three.....

alsooo: less than 5 days till the end of harry potter. bittersweet, mt friends

maybe ill go for once a year on this damn blog thing. i keep on forgetting about it until i literally am bored out of my ming (HELLO, SUMMER!!)
i just read my post from last summer. and life seems to be pretty much the same. haha. although, i shouldnt have wasted my time with that SAT book, seeing as i took the ACT instead, i swear it's easier (seriously: yyeeaaah 34). obviously, that's not good enough for my super asian parents, but i guess that's my problem now.

anyways, this summer im studying for the SAT subject tests (math 2 and physics). oh how its gonna be a blaaassssstttt. especially since i havent taken AP physics, only a shitty honors physics class taught by a completely sub-par teacher, during which the only thing i learned was that F=ma. super duper.

but i'll stop boring you with college talk, because it is super very much stressing me the fuck out.

anyways. BOY UPDATE: yeah, im still just hooking up with that same guy. fwb, still. although we both admitted to liking each other at one point. it was too late oncce we told one another though, as the feelings had gone away due to a fight we had.

MORE BOYS: there is this super hot guy who ive been obsessed with (he graduated this year). and we've actually become friends since the beginning of the summer. mostly bc im friends with one of his friends. BUT DAMN. he's gorgeous. prettiesr eyes. im serious. what i would give to hook up with him before he leaves for college...........seriously. TIPS ANYONE???

harry potter. OH MY DEAREST LORD ITS ALL COMING TO AN END.
:'( im going to cry after that mmovie is over. tears tears tearrsss will be shed!
its almost like it represents the end of my childhood, which was always surrounded by the hype and excitement and joy that came from those novels. i will miss all of it dearly. no more midnight premieres, and no more running to the mailbox for the latest book. sad.

i think that's it. for now. i need to remember to post in this from now on. oops.

PS: adam levine is sexy. go look him up if you dont know who im talking about

ALSO. there is is huge ass fly buzzing around above my head, repeatedly flying at its full velocity toward the ceiling and/or the lamp. and its really scaring me. the fly makes an unnaturally loud sound when it collides into another solid object...

i need to pee.

i clearly am just not cut out for this blogging stuff. i just remember i have one of these things. so why not write in it?! oh the excitement!

so my summer has been filled with swimming and SAT and PSAT prep. lovely. i got those princeton review books from borders. except theyre f-in HUGE. i swear. i will not be finishing those things by the end of summer. and i actually kind of feel bad about it. i mean, i would like to do well on things like the SAT.

more news of this summer? well.
the guy i liked for the past year (who i think ive talked about before) and i have hooked up.
multiple times.
im honestly not sure what it means. it might just be hookups. i dont even know if i myself want anything more than that. itd be nice, yeah. but only for the sake of having a boyfriend and not because i actually want HIM as my boyfriend. FWB for now... :)
he honestly is kind of an ass sometimes. a few of my friends think hes a tool. idk what to think. whatever.

ive also started reading the his dark materials trilogy. goodstuff!
speaking of books, whatever happened to the last book in the eragon series? i swear. by the time that thing comes out, ill have forgotten EVERYTHING that happened in the first 3. and im not about to reread those giant things.

harry potter anyone? yea. cant wait for november...
my friend is in florida right now. she gets to go to the theme park. could i BE more jealous?! could i BE wearing any more clothes?!?! (FRIENDS)

well, im pretty sure thats i have to ramble about for now.
tata, all. i must go pee.

i suck at keeping a blog...what? WHO SAID THAT?!?

whoops...well because im really good at procrastinating, i think ill add the first post of 2010 to my blog. yeah, ive been busy. ap classes suck. ap exams are even worse. mine is this friday. yipee. ohh history....
in the meantime, ive been busy obsessing over ok go and damian kulash (sexy much?)
i went to one of their concerts recently. and im hooked. beyond conception.

okgookgookgookgookgookgo <3

damian. kulash.
SEXY MUCH?!?

ha. i should get back to studying.

swimming. again,

well. a lot of my confusion about whatever the hell i was confused about seems to have subsided. its probably just because ive mastered the art of ignoring it. which, im sure, is going to be very bad in the long run. ive forgotten about my celebrity obsessions and such. but everytime i feel the least bit vulnerable, everything comes rushing to the surface again. probably not the best way to live...?swim season has started, so im constantly tired and sore. we have a hot swim coach :) yay. but its lots of fun. i dont actually have much else to say. oh. and im so confused over a guy i may or may not like.

im lost

i dont know what to do. im so confused. ive had this weird celebrity obsession with johnny depp and tom felton. but it made me aware that im not sure what the meaning of life is. i dont know why im here or what im supposed to do. im not happy with my life and where its going. im not happy in general and i dont know what i can or cannot do about it. im a regular chinese girl in highschool. im probably going to go to a fairly good college, graduate and find a job. ill another middle class semi-successful person. probably with a couple kids and a husband. but i dont want this. this is just what the world has planned for me. my life seems so meaningless. and i dont know what i can do to change that fact. i still have that weird obsession with fame and im intrigued and attracted to the idea. i guess its something that my foolish mind wants to be. famous? thats stupid. i feel like an idiotic 12 year old. but i guess im not entirely attracted to fame because it is fame. i guess im attracted to it because then i would KNOW that i meant something. i would know that i mattered. all i want to do with my life is matter. but ever since i realized that its pretty much meaningless, i just dont know what to do. i cant even explain it. im so hopelessly fucking lost.

swimming. among other things.

so i was on the swim team last year for my highschool (as a freshman) and i didnt go to club swimming (year round) because my grades werent too fantastic and i needed to focus on school. so over the summer my mom got me a membership to the Y so i could try to get back in shape for swim season.(since running is just NOT my thing. AT ALL) but now swimming is starting to turn into one of those things where my mom tries to force me to do it and so i rebel and i dont want to as much. she tries to force me to go to the Y and sometimes i just dont want to (like today, i didnt really feel like going and my foot was still slighty slwollen from a bee sting) and then she'll proceed to yell at me. I can tell its turning into one of those things. and i dont want it to. its like what happened with violin. i wish i could enjoy playing violin more, but because of my moms constant nagging and yelling and forcing me to practice. i hate it. what can i do to fix these two thing? (both the swimming and violin) and whats with parents who do this to their children? dont they realize that when they push children to do things the children just rebel? ugh.

i really need to stop my stupid celebrity obsessions. its ridiculously shallow and stupid. why cant i just live my own life and get over these other famous people? why does it matter so much to me? like tom felton, johnny depp and (idk if this really counts) but people who do mugglecast and smartmouths. i really do just want to meet all these people. but i find it so pathetic.

well. thats it.