huh?

oh lordy lord, am i confused. so i thought that i just like the thought/idea of a boyfriend and not actually a boyfriend. but then im not sure if im over my ex. and i have no idea whether id like to have him back, or i just want a boyfriend. which is confusing. and im also not sure if i just want him back as a friend b.c. before we went out we were REALLY good friends. and now things are quite awkward between us. and obviously we were like 'lets stay friends" but its still always awkward, and im not sure what to do.....

im singleeee!!!!

ok, so my boyfriend and i just broke up. he initiated it, but im okay with it. i guess im in shock...sort of. but i really only liked the idea of having a boyfriend...not my boyfriend. okay, im going to bed now.

jdhfgjehrgdfgvbamnsrbfwherwjkrfjasdf

so like last week, my friend jenny came over and so did the guy i like and i kind of realized that i actually do really like him, so i told him adn then he asked me out. yay? but now its really weird because i dont think i like him anymore. wtf is wrong with me? b.c. i really, really liked him last week. was i like pmsing or something? am i pmsing right now???

UGHHH

?

hey. so i havent been writing at all. sorry. ive just been sooooo busy. so. highschool is okay. i enjoy all of it except math. legit, my math teacher cant teach at all. and im good at math. i used to LOVE math, and now because of this teacher, i hate it. im in this math program where im like two years ahead in math than everyone else and even the other REALLY smart kids in the same program arnt doing well. seriously, my math teacher? he needs to go bury himself in a hole and fucking die there. seriously. i cant stand him and everyone in my class hates him because they dont learn anything from him. so other than math, ive got all A's so far. YAY! but this weekend ive got A LOT of homework to do. im pretty much not doing anything today and just sitting at home and doing homework. oh well. thats pretty much how my life plays out though. oh, and i REALLY liked this guy and he kind of seemed like he liked me back before. but im pretty sure he doesnt anymore. and im not even sure if i like him. its really weird. im not even sure how i feel on this topic.

2009.....

so, its the new year. thats good. i guess. im on winter break now which ends on january 5th.....and i still have a shitload of homework to do that ive been putting off. oh well. ive gotta read like 300 pages in great expectations. i was on page 215ish and we are suposed to read to page 320 by the end of break but i decided i didnt actually know what was going on and id better re-read the whole thing...from the beginning. well, i suppose its for the better because my english teacher is SUPERR HARD. and shell probably give us a really hard test on it like she did with to kill a mockingbird. that test was RIDICULOUS. so, i figured itd be best if i knew what was going on. and i dont actually have any other 'homework' but for the week before break i was kind of blowing off math class so, i gotta catch up on like the past two lessons and do all the homework and im assuming that we are going to have some sort of quiz or test around the week we get back to school....all the teachers are going to be cramming everything in before semester exams. yay. that should be utterly fantastic. and i have to practice violin because i havent practiced all break and i know im going to have a lesson the wednesday that we get back. JHSJDKEBMNBCKWHJKEHWKE

happy new year. dammit.
its another one youve got to survive...

ahh. highschool.

well, i havent written in a while. but now im in highschool. fun ehh?? ha. not. id kill to be in middle school again. does anyone else think that society is almost corrupt? like youre in highschool so you can be evaluated and then you have a final 'test' to see if youre into college and then you may proceed to be 'successful'. if you dont do well in high school, well then. fuck life. youre screwed. this is how i feel. it is not fun. i had a C in math last quarter (now i have an A) bu no matter what im gonna have a B on semesters. but this is seriously b.c. of our math teacher. he sucks. im not even like trying to push blame on other people, this man cannot teach. whatsoever. and in english i had a B+ last quarter and ive got an A- so far. and i totally just got a C on a bio test. seriously, i dont think anyone got an A on that one......people were like failing left and right. so not my fault there either. and you may think these are actually pretty good grades but once again. im asian. LJSHDJHWIEDKSDJN. god. this is very very stressful. like, now ik im gonna have like 1 or 2 B's on semesters and if i want to get into a good college, that is not gonna look too fantastic. i did not get off to the greatest start freshman year. oh well. its almost winter break. thats good. gosh. this is all i have to say for now. 

oh and i like this guy. 

who i have no idea if he likes me back. 

blub blub, imma fish

I dont know hu i like. which i guess means i dont like anyone. which also means that im slightly attracted to everyone. and its kinda annoying. one of the guys that i liked the most is in my class. and i found out one of my other friends like.. asked him out. and then she told me he asked her out. and idk which is true and this friend is becoming really annoying recently. she lies a lot and tries to make everything perfect. she cant have anyone not like her. and when she told me that "he asked her out" she was all like. "yah... so this guy like.... asked me out" in almost an exasperated tone