huh?

oh lordy lord, am i confused. so i thought that i just like the thought/idea of a boyfriend and not actually a boyfriend. but then im not sure if im over my ex. and i have no idea whether id like to have him back, or i just want a boyfriend. which is confusing. and im also not sure if i just want him back as a friend b.c. before we went out we were REALLY good friends. and now things are quite awkward between us. and obviously we were like 'lets stay friends" but its still always awkward, and im not sure what to do.....